"So long as man remains free he strives for nothing so incessantly and so painfully as to find something to worship...[W]hat is essential is that all may be together in it. The craving for community worship is the chief misery of...all humanity. For the sake of common worship they've slain each other with the sword." - Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky

So what were you doing Saturday night? I ask because I know nobody will see this now. On my Saturday night, I did not much. In fact, save four people, I led a secluded day. Yesterday I braided this guy's hair, but today... nothing.

I was supposed to go home, drive there, but I procrastinated. I know that I'm procrastinating right now. I'll be too tired in the morning to go straight to hopping into the car and zipping to my hometown to be at church. I'm going to try, though.

So today I had a lot of crap on my mind. I washed clothes and my bed stuff to prepare to straighten my room before my trip. (have you ever gone away and had to come back to your residence to find that not only did you have to unpack from the trip, but you had to clean up what you left behind and what you brought with you? I hate doing it.) While I was washing clothes, I was working in my Spanish workbook, work I hadn't done throughout the semester because it was taking me hours to do my Spanish homework in the first place. I'm trying to figure out what the heck happened to all of the stuff I had in my head. Where did it go to? I do understand how people can forget the language they were forced to learn.

Well, now is the time that I'm hoping that you are reading. Anybody got any sites I can go to where I can listen to Spanish?

I'm not looking forward to going home. I don't want to realize what I was before I came here. I think that is the reason. I feel like I've left things undone there. There is so much work to do in that house. It's been over two years since I've inherited that house, yet all of the stuff that is in there represents three generations of stuff. I'll be leaving tomorrow though. I won't be back in my dorm room for a week. I may be able to go to the library in my hometown, who knows. Anyway, before I sound any more melancholy, I'm going to post a poem I came up with and then I'll see you when I see you!

Labels: Calls for Response, Thoughts