My 250th Post and It's about What?
Sunday, March 04, 2007
"Solitude is a good place to visit but a poor place to stay." - Josh Billings
Liars. This post is about liars.
Why am I awake at this hour? I'm mad. I'm angry. No. Really angry.
So, I have a friend that I've talked to on and off for a few years now. I liked him. I really liked him. He and I had a good "relationship" such as it was. It protected me from acquiring a real life relationship and it also helped me to avoid knowing that any man worth having that saw me would consider having a relationship with me. I'd say, "Nope, I'm kind of in the middle of something," or say to myself, "I don't have to worry about any man trying to have a relationship with me because they don't find me attractive and, anyway, I'm in a 'kind of middle of something' kind of thing."
I'm not making much sense, I know, but consider the time that I made this post. Who would?
I digress.
This friend of mine, I'll call him Drew, just told me something about himself that made me question everything that he said. He told the truth about something he'd been lying about for years--I mean ever since I knew him. I mean we've been friends, we've had emotional ties to each other, we've gone as far as said the "L" word to each other, it's been like that.
This thing that Drew told me, though, has pissed me off. You know how people lie about small things here and there? Well, that's the kind of person he is, but since he and I were so far away from each other, it didn't--heck, it doesn't--matter. I haven't been an angel, either. I've lied to him a few times, but my lies and his lies are like stacking a piece of paper against a tree. (Hey, that's a pretty good one! I'll have to remember that!)
Tonight, he called me about 2:20am and we got into this conversation which--and why was I trying to hold this back for, I don't know--I told him exactly how I felt. I told Drew that I didn't know what made me angrier, his five-year-old lie or that he's been lying for about four years.
The one thing about liars? It hit me like a ton of bricks--liars are empowered when they lie and weaken the people they lie to. They empower themselves by knowing that the truth is something they know, but the lied-to person does not know. It gives them a one-upper, if you will. I feel manipulated and weakened and I am mad as dirt about it.
So right now, I am awake. Awake enough to consider taking a walk in the middle of the night. If it were a little warmer, I would not be posting this. Goodness knows I need to be walking or reading or something besides typing. I know how I will fix this anger-crusted insomnia.
The Merchant of Venice. Good night.
Liars. This post is about liars.
Why am I awake at this hour? I'm mad. I'm angry. No. Really angry.
So, I have a friend that I've talked to on and off for a few years now. I liked him. I really liked him. He and I had a good "relationship" such as it was. It protected me from acquiring a real life relationship and it also helped me to avoid knowing that any man worth having that saw me would consider having a relationship with me. I'd say, "Nope, I'm kind of in the middle of something," or say to myself, "I don't have to worry about any man trying to have a relationship with me because they don't find me attractive and, anyway, I'm in a 'kind of middle of something' kind of thing."
I'm not making much sense, I know, but consider the time that I made this post. Who would?
I digress.
This friend of mine, I'll call him Drew, just told me something about himself that made me question everything that he said. He told the truth about something he'd been lying about for years--I mean ever since I knew him. I mean we've been friends, we've had emotional ties to each other, we've gone as far as said the "L" word to each other, it's been like that.
This thing that Drew told me, though, has pissed me off. You know how people lie about small things here and there? Well, that's the kind of person he is, but since he and I were so far away from each other, it didn't--heck, it doesn't--matter. I haven't been an angel, either. I've lied to him a few times, but my lies and his lies are like stacking a piece of paper against a tree. (Hey, that's a pretty good one! I'll have to remember that!)
Tonight, he called me about 2:20am and we got into this conversation which--and why was I trying to hold this back for, I don't know--I told him exactly how I felt. I told Drew that I didn't know what made me angrier, his five-year-old lie or that he's been lying for about four years.
The one thing about liars? It hit me like a ton of bricks--liars are empowered when they lie and weaken the people they lie to. They empower themselves by knowing that the truth is something they know, but the lied-to person does not know. It gives them a one-upper, if you will. I feel manipulated and weakened and I am mad as dirt about it.
So right now, I am awake. Awake enough to consider taking a walk in the middle of the night. If it were a little warmer, I would not be posting this. Goodness knows I need to be walking or reading or something besides typing. I know how I will fix this anger-crusted insomnia.
The Merchant of Venice. Good night.
Labels: Calls for Response, My Opinion, The Negatives, Thoughts
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Comments for My 250th Post and It's about What?
liars may have the power until you find the lie, use it, and use it well
then, you have the power.
that is if they care, and im sure he does
then, you have the power.
that is if they care, and im sure he does
- Posted at Mon Mar 05, 02:40:00 AM | By
Matthew
Great point of view. Now that you mention it, it is proving harder for me to trust Drew. He realizes what he's done and hopefully (at least he appears) to try to make amends.
It won't be easy and he knows it.
It won't be easy and he knows it.
- Posted at Mon Mar 05, 09:57:00 AM | By Evolution of gina
wow! That's an awefully long time to keep up with a lie. I don't get why some folks choose to do that. I'm re-reading a book about all the lies this woman tells coming back to kick her in the butt and she almost looses everything. But since it's a love story it all works out in the end.
Real life is not like that though.
Follow your heart with Drew. I don't know if he is worth trusting again...only you can figure that out. If this lie hurt you very badly and you know you don't want to go through that ever again then you know your answer.
Hugs
Real life is not like that though.
Follow your heart with Drew. I don't know if he is worth trusting again...only you can figure that out. If this lie hurt you very badly and you know you don't want to go through that ever again then you know your answer.
Hugs
- Posted at Mon Mar 05, 11:15:00 AM | By Renee Nefe
Ironically, Renee, he has been true to me in some very critical times when I needed someone to talk to and I couldn't talk to anybody around me. Even before the conversation where I told him off, he was encouraging me. It's one of the reasons why I've got so much conflict. He's been more encouraging than my family has about my going to college and pursuing my hopes to become a writer/teacher. I've tried to be there for him as well.
Geez, I didn't know this was going to become so complex (the soap operas use "complicated" too much for me to use it) for me. I'm going to take it day by day. That's all I can really do for now anyway.
Geez, I didn't know this was going to become so complex (the soap operas use "complicated" too much for me to use it) for me. I'm going to take it day by day. That's all I can really do for now anyway.
- Posted at Mon Mar 05, 11:29:00 AM | By Evolution of gina
I hate, hate, hate being lied to.
- Posted at Mon Mar 05, 11:53:00 AM | By janjan0000
Hey, J, thanks for stopping by.
To tell the truth (I swear, no pun intended), there are times that I've lied and I felt it was necessary.
When I didn't want my mama worrying about me, I lied. I knew there was nothing she could do about my problems, so why tell her about them? So, I didn't.
Frankly, I've lied to Drew. I've been of the nature that I will tell the truth to many people simply because they are not worth lying to. I know that sounds crazy, but when it comes to protecting someone's feelings, as I had with my mama, lying has its place.
The problem is that this guy lied to me about something that he knew that if he told me the truth, I would not have been an emotionally intimate as I am with him.
Don't get me wrong, not all lies are worth telling, but all truths may not necessarily be best. Telling someone they've had green stuff in their teeth? A good truth. Telling someone something that would upset them because they would not be able to change the results or the circumstances of a situation? Uhmm... well, I'm on the side of "bad truth" on that one.
To tell the truth (I swear, no pun intended), there are times that I've lied and I felt it was necessary.
When I didn't want my mama worrying about me, I lied. I knew there was nothing she could do about my problems, so why tell her about them? So, I didn't.
Frankly, I've lied to Drew. I've been of the nature that I will tell the truth to many people simply because they are not worth lying to. I know that sounds crazy, but when it comes to protecting someone's feelings, as I had with my mama, lying has its place.
The problem is that this guy lied to me about something that he knew that if he told me the truth, I would not have been an emotionally intimate as I am with him.
Don't get me wrong, not all lies are worth telling, but all truths may not necessarily be best. Telling someone they've had green stuff in their teeth? A good truth. Telling someone something that would upset them because they would not be able to change the results or the circumstances of a situation? Uhmm... well, I'm on the side of "bad truth" on that one.
- Posted at Mon Mar 05, 05:16:00 PM | By Evolution of gina