That's It. I'm Checking Out.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
"Between thought and expression lies a lifetime." - Lou Reed
Check that out. This quote is the first thing that came up and ironically, not only do I have to talk about an expression, but I also have to talk about something that Lou Reed (if I'm not mistaken) said.
So I have this conversation with my dad. Yup. Him. Friday night he calls me around midnight and basically tells me about a Spanish phrase called the moment of truth. I tell him the literal Spanish translation, el momento de verdad, and he tells me, "well, I don't know..." I tell him that I'm taking Spanish and that is the Spanish phrase for it.
Let's take a moment, shall we.
I'm beginning to think different things about how my father sees me. One is that he looks at me and sees my mom. (Take a close look at that first pic of my parents--in one way I do look like my mom, in another way, I do look like my father.) I think that he sees what he did not like in my mother. I also believe that he does not like me. I can remember a time in my life when I was quite sure that people did not like me. I feel that now sometimes. I'm a surface person, though. I do have a brain, but I'm not very approachable in an intimate manner (and I think I have an idea why, but that'll have to wait for another therapy session). I don't think that my father had very much faith in my mother. She was smart and did not believe in herself (yeah, yeah, yeah... you don't have to think it, I know that it sounds like I feel the same way about myself). (I do.) My father did not believe in her, either. I now think that he feels that way about me. So that is why I heard doubt after I told him the phrase in Spanish.
And it made me question myself.
So this morning, in an effort to put off reading for my Brit Lit exam I called my father and tell him the correct phrasing. Then he connects these two phrases--"the moment of truth" and "take a walk on the wild side"--as the same thing.
I had to ask someone else just to be sure, but double dad gum it (you know that is all of the cursing I can do, but you know what I want to say...) they don't mean the same thing! I don't know what to do about it.
About him. I'm not nuts. I'm not. I swear I'm not.
Good grief. I'm going to do my best to not be bothered. I've got too much crap to get done and not enough time to do it.
I'm checking out. Well, I'm escorting my father to my mental door, putting him out, and changing the lock on the door. at least for as long as I can stand to do it.
Check that out. This quote is the first thing that came up and ironically, not only do I have to talk about an expression, but I also have to talk about something that Lou Reed (if I'm not mistaken) said.
So I have this conversation with my dad. Yup. Him. Friday night he calls me around midnight and basically tells me about a Spanish phrase called the moment of truth. I tell him the literal Spanish translation, el momento de verdad, and he tells me, "well, I don't know..." I tell him that I'm taking Spanish and that is the Spanish phrase for it.
Let's take a moment, shall we.
I'm beginning to think different things about how my father sees me. One is that he looks at me and sees my mom. (Take a close look at that first pic of my parents--in one way I do look like my mom, in another way, I do look like my father.) I think that he sees what he did not like in my mother. I also believe that he does not like me. I can remember a time in my life when I was quite sure that people did not like me. I feel that now sometimes. I'm a surface person, though. I do have a brain, but I'm not very approachable in an intimate manner (and I think I have an idea why, but that'll have to wait for another therapy session). I don't think that my father had very much faith in my mother. She was smart and did not believe in herself (yeah, yeah, yeah... you don't have to think it, I know that it sounds like I feel the same way about myself). (I do.) My father did not believe in her, either. I now think that he feels that way about me. So that is why I heard doubt after I told him the phrase in Spanish.
And it made me question myself.
So this morning, in an effort to put off reading for my Brit Lit exam I called my father and tell him the correct phrasing. Then he connects these two phrases--"the moment of truth" and "take a walk on the wild side"--as the same thing.
I had to ask someone else just to be sure, but double dad gum it (you know that is all of the cursing I can do, but you know what I want to say...) they don't mean the same thing! I don't know what to do about it.
About him. I'm not nuts. I'm not. I swear I'm not.
Good grief. I'm going to do my best to not be bothered. I've got too much crap to get done and not enough time to do it.
I'm checking out. Well, I'm escorting my father to my mental door, putting him out, and changing the lock on the door. at least for as long as I can stand to do it.
Labels: Calls for Response, The Negatives, Thoughts
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Comments for That's It. I'm Checking Out.
I know this is tough. And I know you know you are better than your dad gives you credit for. You can't change how he feels about you. The only feelings you can change are yours.
Oh and stop taking calls in the middle of the night. :) It's torture to think that late.
Hugs
Oh and stop taking calls in the middle of the night. :) It's torture to think that late.
Hugs
- Posted at Sat Feb 24, 04:09:00 PM | By
Renee Nefe
Wow! I didn't know that this posted! I've got to finish this post when I have a chance...
- Posted at Sat Feb 24, 04:13:00 PM | By Evolution of gina