... It Could Be Worse ...
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." - H. Jackson Browne
This will go under the "Much / Not So Much" files.
Your skirt could be caught in your panties.
It could be worse--you could have felt the breeze while walking down the runway during Fashion Week.
You have a week-long stomach virus, not able to eat because it will run through you.
It could be worse--you could have had a stomach virus and not be able to see how you looked 10 pounds lighter when you're better.
You're stranded in the middle of nowhere.
It could be worse--you could be stranded in the middle of nowhere with your mother-in-law.
You get fired from your job.
It could be worse--you could be Isaiah Washington.
You are commuted from a jail sentence.
It could be worse--your victim could be a spy. Call me crazy, (you didn't have to say it that loudly!) but if I had a choice between being free with a whole company of trained assassins able to do anything they wanted at any time and being in jail, I could deal with plastic-tray meals for a while.
This will go under the "Much / Not So Much" files.
Your skirt could be caught in your panties.
It could be worse--you could have felt the breeze while walking down the runway during Fashion Week.
You have a week-long stomach virus, not able to eat because it will run through you.
It could be worse--you could have had a stomach virus and not be able to see how you looked 10 pounds lighter when you're better.
You're stranded in the middle of nowhere.
It could be worse--you could be stranded in the middle of nowhere with your mother-in-law.
You get fired from your job.
It could be worse--you could be Isaiah Washington.
You are commuted from a jail sentence.
It could be worse--your victim could be a spy. Call me crazy, (you didn't have to say it that loudly!) but if I had a choice between being free with a whole company of trained assassins able to do anything they wanted at any time and being in jail, I could deal with plastic-tray meals for a while.
Labels: Much / Not So Much
Much / Not So Much
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
"Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will."
- Frederick Douglass
Vanilla ice cream drizzled with oozing chocolate ganache. Much.
Vanilla ice cream drizzled with oozing brown gravy? Not so much.
First date with a good friend? Much.
First date with a good friend who becomes the date from hell for some reason? Not so much.
Feeling like a million bucks? Much.
Feeling like a million bucks but smelling a $20 hooker? Not so much.
Being confident? Much.
Being cocky and everyone knows that you are selling wolf tickets? Not so much.
Feeling like you've lost 20 pounds? Much.
Feeling like you've lost 20 pounds, but have only lost 2? Get me a hammer, I'm going to tear up this doggone scale.
- Frederick Douglass
Vanilla ice cream drizzled with oozing chocolate ganache. Much.
Vanilla ice cream drizzled with oozing brown gravy? Not so much.
First date with a good friend? Much.
First date with a good friend who becomes the date from hell for some reason? Not so much.
Feeling like a million bucks? Much.
Feeling like a million bucks but smelling a $20 hooker? Not so much.
Being confident? Much.
Being cocky and everyone knows that you are selling wolf tickets? Not so much.
Feeling like you've lost 20 pounds? Much.
Feeling like you've lost 20 pounds, but have only lost 2? Get me a hammer, I'm going to tear up this doggone scale.
Labels: Humor, Much / Not So Much, My Writing
Much / Not So Much
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
"Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him."
- Henry Miller
Cherry/Wedding Cake SnowBall? Much.
Mashed Potatoes/Gravy SnowBall? Not so much.
Being in love? Much.
Being in love with a stripper and the more you tip, the more "love" you get? Not so much.
A beautiful man from afar? Much.
A beautiful man from afar that has really bad breath close up? Not so much.
Volunteer work? Much.
Volunteer work with the highway cleaning up roadkill? Not so much.
Being married? Much.
Spending so much government money on the same-sex-marriage issue? Not so much.
And I'll tell you why. To me, simple as I am, I cannot sweep around someone else's front door without sweeping around mine. Like I've heard it said before, homosexual peopshould suffer the same consequences as heterosexual people do.
- Henry Miller
Cherry/Wedding Cake SnowBall? Much.
Mashed Potatoes/Gravy SnowBall? Not so much.
Being in love? Much.
Being in love with a stripper and the more you tip, the more "love" you get? Not so much.
A beautiful man from afar? Much.
A beautiful man from afar that has really bad breath close up? Not so much.
Volunteer work? Much.
Volunteer work with the highway cleaning up roadkill? Not so much.
Being married? Much.
Spending so much government money on the same-sex-marriage issue? Not so much.
And I'll tell you why. To me, simple as I am, I cannot sweep around someone else's front door without sweeping around mine. Like I've heard it said before, homosexual peopshould suffer the same consequences as heterosexual people do.
Labels: Much / Not So Much, My Writing
Much / Not So Much
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
"The most important things to say are those which often I did not think necessary for me to say -- because they were too obvious."
----
André Gide
Watching Oprah? Much.
Knowing that she is not as open-minded as everyone thought she was (by not allowing rappers on her show)? Not so much.
Being dressed to impress? Much.
Wearing latex, too much hairspray, your hair being able to hit the door frame, 12 shades on your eyelids and thinking you're dressed to impress? Not so much.
Being cool? Much.
Thinking Prince and Pat Robertson singing a duet is cool? Not so much.
Fruit smoothie? Much.
Fruit smoothie with spoiled milk? Not so much.
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi dead? Hold on, everyone.
Weren't we supposed to be hunting down some other guy that was responsible for bringing down the towers? What happened to trying to find Osama Bin Ladin's back forty? WE HAVE FOUND SADDAM, WE FOUND AL-ZARQAWI, WHERE IN THE SAM HILL IS BIN LADIN? SOOOOO NOT SO MUCH!
----
André Gide
Watching Oprah? Much.
Knowing that she is not as open-minded as everyone thought she was (by not allowing rappers on her show)? Not so much.
Being dressed to impress? Much.
Wearing latex, too much hairspray, your hair being able to hit the door frame, 12 shades on your eyelids and thinking you're dressed to impress? Not so much.
Being cool? Much.
Thinking Prince and Pat Robertson singing a duet is cool? Not so much.
Fruit smoothie? Much.
Fruit smoothie with spoiled milk? Not so much.
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi dead? Hold on, everyone.
Weren't we supposed to be hunting down some other guy that was responsible for bringing down the towers? What happened to trying to find Osama Bin Ladin's back forty? WE HAVE FOUND SADDAM, WE FOUND AL-ZARQAWI, WHERE IN THE SAM HILL IS BIN LADIN? SOOOOO NOT SO MUCH!
Labels: Much / Not So Much, My Writing
Much / Not So Much
Monday, June 12, 2006
"I'll make you wish there were 48 hours in a day."
----
Chaka Khan
Reminiscing about the good old days? Much.
Wearing a mullet, crew cut, jheri curl, wave nuveau, or too much hairspray? Not so much.
Wearing black lip liner, too much mascara, eyeliner that look like tire tracks, or any colors of makeup that you used when you are in high school? Not so much.
Wearing your children’s clothes? Not so much.
Wearing your children’s clothes that show bulges and cottage cheese that you are blocking out of your mind because you believe that you simply don’t have them? Not so much.
Being flat out delusional about your age? Not so much.
----
Chaka Khan
Reminiscing about the good old days? Much.
Wearing a mullet, crew cut, jheri curl, wave nuveau, or too much hairspray? Not so much.
Wearing black lip liner, too much mascara, eyeliner that look like tire tracks, or any colors of makeup that you used when you are in high school? Not so much.
Wearing your children’s clothes? Not so much.
Wearing your children’s clothes that show bulges and cottage cheese that you are blocking out of your mind because you believe that you simply don’t have them? Not so much.
Being flat out delusional about your age? Not so much.
Labels: Much / Not So Much, My Writing
Much / Not So Much Tuesday
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
"Our life is what our thoughts make of it."
----
Marcus Aurelius
Jambalaya? Much.
Jambalaya with crunchy rice? Not so much.
Honesty? Much.
Honesty in the eye of the beholder? Not so much.
You lyin’ to me, mofo? You betta not be, Sucka.
Charles Gibson (newly hired ABC anchor)? Much.
Katie Couric (newly hired NBC anchor)? Jury’s still out on that one.
Going out on a blind date? Much.
Going out on a blind date to an all-you-can-eat buffet to meet a sumo wrestler? Not so much.
Sorry, but I can’t even compare a “much” to this: Congress wasting taxpayers’ money to debate the amending the United States Constitution to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman (making same-sex marriages unconstitutional) when the likelihood of it is nearly impossible? What is Congress smoking on?
----
Marcus Aurelius
Jambalaya? Much.
Jambalaya with crunchy rice? Not so much.
Honesty? Much.
Honesty in the eye of the beholder? Not so much.
You lyin’ to me, mofo? You betta not be, Sucka.
Charles Gibson (newly hired ABC anchor)? Much.
Katie Couric (newly hired NBC anchor)? Jury’s still out on that one.
Going out on a blind date? Much.
Going out on a blind date to an all-you-can-eat buffet to meet a sumo wrestler? Not so much.
Sorry, but I can’t even compare a “much” to this: Congress wasting taxpayers’ money to debate the amending the United States Constitution to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman (making same-sex marriages unconstitutional) when the likelihood of it is nearly impossible? What is Congress smoking on?
Labels: Much / Not So Much, My Writing
Much / Not So Much
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
"Big thinking precedes great achievement."
----
Wilfred Peterson
Looking just like you did when you graduated? Much.
You graduated 200 pounds overweight with Farrah hair and look just like you did when you graduated? Not so much.
Crawfish? Much.
Crawfish from New Orleans? Sorry, no offense, but not so much.
Getting home after a fantastic day? Much.
Getting home after a fantastic day and not knowing how long your skirt was in your panty hose? Not so much.
A peck on the lips good night after a first day? Much.
A peck on the lips after leaving the Onion and Garlic Festival? Not so much.
Hair like Star Jones? Much.
Face like Star Jones? Not so much.
(And let's just face it, people...) Body like Star Jones? Really not so much.
----
Wilfred Peterson
Looking just like you did when you graduated? Much.
You graduated 200 pounds overweight with Farrah hair and look just like you did when you graduated? Not so much.
Crawfish? Much.
Crawfish from New Orleans? Sorry, no offense, but not so much.
Getting home after a fantastic day? Much.
Getting home after a fantastic day and not knowing how long your skirt was in your panty hose? Not so much.
A peck on the lips good night after a first day? Much.
A peck on the lips after leaving the Onion and Garlic Festival? Not so much.
Hair like Star Jones? Much.
Face like Star Jones? Not so much.
(And let's just face it, people...) Body like Star Jones? Really not so much.
Labels: Humor, Much / Not So Much, My Writing
Much/Not So Much
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
From Thoughts.com
Man is made or unmade by himself.
For man to conquer himself is the first and noblest victory.
Man conrols his own passions,and emotions.
Without self-control the good life is impossible.
-----
Alfred A. Montapert
Here’s my first installment of what I call “Much/Not So Much.”
Much will be things that are good or things we like for whatever reason. Not so much are things that people ask if we like them or not and we say, “Not so much.”
Chocolate ice cream? Much.
Chocolate ice cream with ketchup? Not so much.
Ugly midgets in love? Much.
An ugly midget in love with you? Not so much.
A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Much
A pot of beans in front of your farting friend? Not so much.
Looking forward to January, 2008? Much.
Looking forward to Bush being president until January, 2008? Not so much.
Having drinks with a friend after work? Much.
Having drinks with Anna Nicole Smith after any awards show? Depends on who you ask.
Labels: Humor, Much / Not So Much, My Writing