Ten Things This Tuesday
So, I've been thinking about some things. Yes, I am still in that place of my previous post, but I've been thinking of you--how much I love you and want you to be happy and stuff. So, I'm going to make an effort to say what's on my mind that will be pleasing to you.
I'm going to put whatever the *^#$ I want to. Deal with it.
I've thought about going "green" lately. Here's some ideas on it.
Ten interesting ways to go green:
1. Kill fear.
2. Give a stranger a compliment.
3. For no reason, publicly laugh out loud.
4. Dare you to do it for sixty seconds!
5. If someone looks down, ask them if they need a hug. If they do, hug the negatives right out of them.
6. Take a shower this way: spray yourself with water, turn off the shower, give yourself a vigorous scrubby-scrub, rinse yourself.
7. If you're a green thumb, buy a plant to oxygenate a space.
8. If you're not a green thumb, buy a plastic plant to make someone have happy thoughts.
9. Refrain from saying God's name unless you need Him.
10. Stand or sit in a still place, close your eyes, and deeply inhale and exhale five times. Inhale deeply enough to see (and feel) your chest spread in all directions: feel it in your sides, in your back, and from your collarbones to your belly.
Labels: Feel Goods, Ten Things This Tuesday, Thoughts
Ten Things This Tuesday
So, two days away from my 24th birthday...okay, okay! So what if the numbers are backwards! I only look a little older than that! Mwahahahahahahahaha! So what will my TTTT be about? Hmmm... I got it!
Ten things I'm thinking about now that I can no longer ignore that I'm actually a forty-something cougar without the cougar body.
1. Eight years until fifty.
2. Eighteen years from sixty.
3. Twenty-one years from the age my mama passed away.
4. I'm going to have a Bachelor's degree in 115 days.
5. Seventeen Saturdays from graduation.
6. Seventeen Mondays from being out of school and unemployed if I don't get a gig shaking and baking!
7. Oh my good googly woogly! Seventeen Saturdays! That's seventeen Thursdays! One hundred fifteen tomorrows!
8. Why is my heart racing?
9. Because I'm going to be sick.
10. Nope! Because I'm going to get my dream in 115 days!
Labels: Calls for Response, Feel Goods, It Really Happened, Ten Things This Tuesday, Thoughts
Well, I Wanted to Write Something
I thought I wanted to write a "Much - Not So Much" post, but I found this quote and got inspired.
I do this sometimes, try to pay off bills and neglecting things I really want. Heck, I can't remember the last time I bought some clothing that I could wear to church. I won't even tell you how many pairs of shoes I have. Let's put it this way: I am the one person whose shoe collection you can browse in 17 seconds. Probably less.
Oh, wait! I knew it was something I wanted to tell you--all five of you. (I bet you thought I didn't include myself in those five people, huh. Well, I have to type it, so I have to read it. Hee hee!) I got a boost of confidence New Year's Eve! My male cousin told me at the gathering his girlfriend had at her house that I still "got it, and you know you got it. Look at these men trying to get your attention!"
I shook my head. I'll have to put up a pic with what I did on Christmas break. Yup, after three weeks of stressing and barely putting my own fingers much less a comb through my hair, I combed it and then some. I look gorgeous.
Not that I'm saying that, mind you.
I swear, that's what I've been told! "Gina, dahlingk, you look absolutely gorgeous!" Hopefully, I will successfully drive someone crazy with--woops, almost forgot, this is a family blog. I can't say anymore than that (but you know what I mean).
I took a picture of myself on my phone (I got it cheap and probably won't buy another one until this one falls apart or when I get a job). I looked at it, and darn it! I have to agree with these people! Dare I say I was surprised! I'm strikingly adorable!
I'm getting long-winded. I haven't forgot about the thing that I'm going to start doing on here. Keep looking for it, I'll start next week.
Labels: Feel Goods, Humor, It Really Happened, Thoughts
Interesting...
I'm not the type to go to reading horoscopes until around my birthday. For some reason, I get hung up on seeing what the rest of the year is going to hold for me. So I go to Daily OM, clicked a couple of times, and I got this message. The cool thing about horoscopes is that you can read them all and you will eventually find some good advice. It's how I see horoscopes--12-part advice columns! Anyway, Maybe you will find this a good piece of advice. I do have a lot of things going on in my head, and I'm trying to decide which way to go. If it works for you, good. If not, well, it's only advice after all. Enjoy!
Energy Like A Laser
Capricorn Daily Horoscope
You could enjoy a sense of optimism and feel upbeat about your activities today. Your outlook might also be very positive as you look to the future with excitement and eagerness about the possibilities that exist for you. Whether you are considering new hobbies and creative pursuits or you are making plans for beginning a new career, you could use the power of focus to be more decisive with your actions. Your positive attitude will help you see that there are many options out there for you to pursue. Focusing on one opportunity at a time could help you make the most of every opportunity that will benefit you. You might want to take time to consider your desired outcome before taking any action today, so you can know which steps to focus on first.
Focusing our energy in specific ways gives us the power and insight to create the exact circumstances we desire in any area of our lives. We often allow our excitement to carry us forward, and we end up acting hastily without considering the consequences. While spontaneity does have its rewards, we can increase the effectiveness of our actions by first mentally and verbally specifying the outcome we wish to create. We then have a clearer idea of which actions we need to perform in order to bring what we want about, and we can then focus our energy in specific ways. Combine the power of focus with your optimistic mind-set today, and you will be infusing your efforts with the power of your intentions.
Labels: Daily OM, Feel Goods
The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee
"The little things, I can obey. But the big things - how we think, what we value - those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone - or any society - determine those for you." - Morrie Schwartz
The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee
When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began , he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded t o fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.
The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
Labels: Feel Goods
A Daily OM Dose of Thought
Clinging To The Core
When Our World Falls Apart
There are times when our whole world seems to be falling apart around us, and we are not sure what to hold onto anymore. Sometimes our relationships crumble and sometimes it’s our physical environment. At other times, we can’t put our finger on it, but we feel as if all the walls have fallen down around us and we are standing with nothing to lean on, exposed and vulnerable. These are the times in our lives when we are given an opportunity to see where we have established our sense of identity, safety, and well-being. And while it is perfectly natural and part of our process to locate our sense of self in externals, any time those external factors shift, we have an opportunity to rediscover and move closer to our core, which is the only truly safe place to call home.
The core of our being is not affected by the shifting winds of circumstance or subject to the cycles of change that govern physical reality. It is as steady and consistent as the sun, which is why the great mystics and mystical poets often reference the sun in their odes to the self. Like the sun, there are times when our core seems to be inaccessible to us, but this is just a misperception. We know that when the sun goes behind a cloud or sets for the night, it has not disappeared but is simply temporarily out of sight. In the same way, we can trust that our inner core is always shining brightly, even when we cannot quite see it.
We can cling to this core when things around us are falling apart, knowing that an inexhaustible light shines from within ourselves. Times of external darkness can be a great gift in that they provide an opportunity to remember this inner light that shines regardless of the circumstances of our lives. When our external lives begin to come back together, we are able to lean a bit more lightly on the structures we used to call home, knowing more clearly than ever that our true home is that bright sun shining in our core.
Labels: Daily OM, Feel Goods
Can I Just Say ...
... that I won an argument against my embodiment of a personal hemorrhoid, SunKingpoet. I had to write this down. I am right! I am right! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
Labels: Feel Goods, Humor, It Really Happened
Quirky Quote
Okay, now I'm going to bed.
Labels: Feel Goods, Humor, Quotes
In a Quoting Mood, huh...
"The closest sound to Roseanne Barr's singing the national Anthem was my cat being neutered." - Johnny Carson
"Violence is as American as cherry pie." - Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Baron Lytton
"I am proud of the fact that I never invented weapons to kill." - Thomas Alva Edison
"The penalty of success is to be bored by people who used to snub you." - Nancy Astor
"It is impossible to enjoy idling unless there is plenty of work to do." - Jerome K. Jerome
"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant:if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome." - Anne Bradstreet
"To refuse praise reveals a desire to be praised twice over." - Duc de la Rochefoucauld
"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire." - William Butler Yeats
"There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't and that's a wife who can't cook and will." - Robert Frost
"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." - Franklin D. Roosevelt
"My philosophy has always been simple: Believe in yourself." - Tommy John
Labels: Feel Goods, Humor, Quotes, Thoughts
A Daily OM Dose of Thought
Your Comfort Zone
Create A Soft Place To Land
Our day-to-day demands can quickly take their toll on our well-being if we are not vigilant about caring for ourselves as best we can. One way we can ensure that we have an opportunity to relax and recuperate each day is to create a soft place to land when we arrive home. This landing pad, whether it is an entire room or merely a small corner of a larger area, can provide us with a safe and comforting refuge in which we can decompress and recover from the day's stresses. There, we are enveloped in feelings of security that transcend other issues that may be unfolding in our homes. Our landing pads also act as way stations that enable us to shift our attention away from our outer-world concerns and back to our inner-world needs.
To create a soft place to land in your home, begin by scouting potential locations. Or perhaps your entire home is your landing pad in which case you may only need to declutter. Your habits can often provide you with insight into the perfect spot, as there may be an area of your home you gravitate to naturally when you are in need of comfort. Any space in which you find it easy to let go of stress and anxiety can become your landing pad. A basement or attic, spare room, or unused storage area, furnished with items that soothe you, can give you the privacy you need to unwind. If you appreciate the elements, you may find that spending time in a section of your garden or outdoor patio helps you release the day's tensions. Preparing these spaces can be as easy as replacing clutter with a small selection of beautiful objects that put you in a relaxed frame of mind. Remember to consider noise and activity levels while choosing the site of your landing pad. If you know that ordinary human commotion will distract you from your purpose, look for a secluded spot.
The soft place to land that you create should inspire within you the mantra, "I can breath here. I can relax here. I know I am safe here." When you return to your home after braving worldly rigors, you will feel a subtle yet tranquil shift occur inside of you as you settle in to this most personal of retreats and feel centered once again.
Labels: Daily OM, Feel Goods, Thoughts
His Day My Way
On this holiday one year ago, I submitted an op/ed piece that I'd like to share with you today. Itgot posted in my local city paper as well as in a newspaper in a large city. I'm thrilled to have read it again. I almost cannot believe these are my words, so you know that means I feel like I was led to write them. I hope you enjoy them as well.
What are your plans for today? I am delighted that the college I attend will be closed for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. It will give me a chance to prepare for my first classes after explaining policies and syllabi.
In the past, on the third Monday of January, i have done things that my ancestors of yesteryear were not able to do: walked in the front door of many otherwise racially exclusive restaurants and stores or rode in the front half of city transportation. It was my secret way of honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the era that allows me these now-normal actions.
I'd make sure that I wore my favorite t-shirt that displays Martin Luther King, Jr. and a quote:
"Violence as a way of acheiving racial justice is both impractical and immoral. It is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. it is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding; it seeks to annihilate rather than convert. Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love. It destroys community and makes brotherhood impossible. It leaves society in monologue rather than dialogue. Violence ends by defeating tiself. It creates bitterness in the survivors and brutaility in the destroyers."
In a time where violence is used to express insignificant rationality as fervently as powerful causes, this quote is more exigent than when it was initially expressed.
I implore readers to take a few minutes andreflect how their lives would be different if a lady had decided to move to the back of the bus.
I implore everyone to consider how enriched we would all be without James Meredith's bravery and determination to become educated at the University of Mississippi.
I implore everyone to ask themselves if how they think about human equality is regressive or progressive.
I implore everyone to release the mental binds that restrict their humanity.
Finally, each of us should consider this holiday as an Independence Day in January.
I ask all who chose to honor this day to please do so with reverence. I know I will. I'll be the one in the black t-shirt.
Labels: Feel Goods, My Blog, My Opinion, My Writing, Thoughts
I Just Hope That I Lose As Much Weight As I Have My Mind For Even Doing This...
So take a look at my sidebar. Several blogs are punishing themselves by putting on this pledge. You know how much I love pain, right. I don't, but I do want to lose some weight and you can help me do it.
Because you love me. You DO love me, don't you?
So here is my pledge:
Blogger Pledge
I will exercise for comments.
Time Period: January 1- January 31
Type of exercise: Sit-ups and walking
Pledge: 1 sit-up and one minute of walking per comment with a maximum of 100 per day until January 31, 2007
So let me have it, people.
Labels: Blog Sites to See, Feel Goods
Ten Things This Tuesday...Oh no, not again...
Yup. I'm late again and I don't even have much time for this either, but since things are narrowing down to where I have to declare myself as "forty-something," I figured I better make this one count. I have one more Tuesday before my birthday, (would I be too narcissistic if I told you that I'll be 41 on January 17th, two days after Martin Luther King, and the same birthday as Betty White, Muhammed Ali, Jim Carrey, and James Earl Jones and that they are in wonderful company? Nah. Not me. Not my style...) so I will try to make my posts count worth something.
Okay, the other posts. This one will not mean much more than squat.
Ten things I am able to do that a woman half my age could not.
1. Have a man 10-15 years younger than me and it would still be okay. Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Now all I have to do is try it.
2. Laugh out loud and not care about what anyone thinks when they hear me. Well, I was doing that before, but at half my age, I was trying to be cool. Besides, my mama would always get on my case: "Stop all of that loud laughing! You sound like..." Fill in the blank on that; she'd fill it with cow, whore, prostitute, hooker, or whatever embarrassing or humiliating thing that would appear to make me quiet. Nowadays, I think my laugh is a fantastic characteristic, dad gum it. Dare I say that the people who know me would agree.
3. Wear weird things. I'll have to take a pic of my newest cap and put it in here to let you see what I mean. I'm not even sure how I look to other people with it on, but I adore it on me. Isn't that's what is supposed to matter?
4. Be myself. It's a little hard to do sometimes because there are parts of myself that I'd rather change.
5. Reinvent myself. Isn't 40 the new 30 anyway? Besides, I look so good for my age that I don't even have to...
6. Lie about my age. But I'm thinking about it. Especially since the average age people think I am is 24-34.
7. Reflect. I can take a look back at my life and be proud of what I didn't accomplish. Doen't make sense, huh... Yeah, I know. I'll have to do another total blog on that one.
8. Look forward with different eyes. The future at 40 is totally different than the future at 20. Let's face it, when we realize that we are adults or are no longer young, we see things in a totally different life.
9. Ask questions. There are some people in my life that I can ask questions about now that would seem disrespectful when I was half my age. I'd like to go have drinks in a smoky club with some of my older relatives.
10. Admit to mistakes. There's no sense in my having pride about things that I've done wrong. Truth be told, by the time people get to 40, we all would have made at least one error in judgement. If we are lucky, we may even be able to laugh at them, like the time I had five shots of Jose' Cuervo 1800 tequila and then ate an order of buffalo wings slathered with ranch dressing (huge mistake)!!!
Labels: Feel Goods, Humor, My Writing, Ten Things This Tuesday
New Year's Resolution Tips--From Beliefnet.com
Resolutions That Stick
To follow through with the goals you set for yourself this New Year, you must change your attitude and behavior.
By M.J. Ryan
"This year, I’m going to stop worrying so much."
"I will get in shape, once and for all."
"I’ll stop spending beyond my means."
"I’ll get along better with my family."
"I’ll start that business I’ve always dreamed about."
Have you made a resolution similar to one of these? Some of us want to lose weight, become more organized, or quit smoking. Others want to find a sense of purpose, more work/life balance, the courage to leave an unfulfilling career and start over. Whether it’s New Year’s Day, an important birthday, or just because we’re fed up, at some point we vow to make that one leap or give up the thing that plagues us. But by the time the rosy blush of good intentions wears off, the resolution gets pushed aside. Not because we don’t still long to have what we want, but because we just don’t know how to change.
We say we’re going to change, we may even do it for a little while, but soon we find ourselves back to our old habits. Depending on what survey you’ve paying attention to, approximately 45 percent of us make New Year’s resolutions, but only 8 percent succeed. Ninety percent of heart patients don’t stick to the lifestyle changes they need to live longer and healthier lives. Even faced with the dramatic choice to change or die, they can’t do it. I don’t believe they want to die. They just don’t know how to make the choice for life.
Part of the problem is that we’re flooded by bad advice. Right now, I’m staring at a women’s magazine. It’s the November 28th issue and the headline blares: YOU, 43 LBS SLIMMER By Christmas! I’m sorry but you, no matter who you are, are not going to be 43 pounds slimmer in 28 days using their diet or anyone else’s. Such irresponsible "advice" does a great deal of harm. Because it creates unrealistic expectations, it increases the probability we’ll give up before we get where we want to go.
You and I can change. Not just superficially, or temporarily. We can stop doing the things that hold us back or cause us suffering and create a life filled with meaning and happiness. But it’s not easy, as anyone who has tried to change a habit or do something new knows.
To bring new behavior into being takes work. Our brains have enormous "plasticity," meaning they can create new cells and pathways. But our brains create strong tendencies to do the same thing over and over. Here’s why: our neurons (brain cells) that fire together wire together. Meaning, they have a strong tendency to run the same program the next time. That’s why lasting change takes lots of practice; you’ve got to create a pathway to the new options. (Six to nine months, say many brain scientists--so much for those seven-day wonder programs.) The process is not about getting rid of bad habits—the pathway to your current behavior is there for life, baby—but building new, more positive ones. Even stopping doing something, like smoking, is really about creating a good new habit, nonsmoking.
Our brain structure is also why you’ve got to put external reminders in place, at least in the beginning. Unless we have a trigger from the outside—a note, a email reminder, a friend who shows up at the door to go to the gym with you--it’s very likely you’ll keep defaulting to the old behavior because it’s automatic. That’s also why it’s so important to be willing to start over no matter how often you blow it or get discouraged.
Do you keep hoping that a magic fairy will appear to make your dreams come true? That if you just read enough issues of Shape those thunder thighs will disappear? You’re not alone. Most of us are also not concrete enough about what we want and unrealistic about what we can reasonably ask ourselves to learn.
Here’s what a new client of mine said he wanted to learn in three months: "to be less nit picky and fearful; to be more optimistic, to be more responsible and empathetic; to be more creative; to be more productive; to live a healthier life and to take better care of myself." "How about create world peace while you’re at it?" I replied. "And what does `more’ mean anyway? Even if it were possible to focus on all of this in that time frame, how will you know if you are more of any of these things?"
As this client so touchingly demonstrated, we expect too much of ourselves and we expect to change overnight. When that doesn’t happen, we resign ourselves to staying the same, convinced that we are hopeless, weak, or unmotivated. Which makes us even more stuck. As another of my clients, eager to lose weight, puts it, "Once I eat the first cookie, I figure I might as well go through the whole box."
Top Ten Resolution Pitfalls
1. Being vague about what you want
2. Not making a serious commitment
3. Procrastinating and excuse-making—no time, wrong time, dog ate homework
4. Unwilling to go through the awkward phase
5. Not setting up a tracking and reminder system
6. Expecting perfection, falling into guilt, shame, regret
7. Trying to go it alone
8. Telling yourself self-limiting rut stories
9. Not having backup plans
10. Turning slip-ups to give-ups
To truly change requires three things: desire, intent, and persistence. You have to identify what you desire enough to be willing to stick to, make specific, measurable, achievable goals ("stop yelling at my kids" rather than "having more patience," and avoid the common pitfalls (see above).
Armed with these attitudes and behaviors, you can cultivate any new habit or behavior. When you have this invaluable tool in your arsenal, you’re not just getting fit, becoming more patient, or writing that novel. You’ve become empowered to experience greater satisfaction and fulfillment in your life because you can now bring anything you want into being. You’ve become the master of your fate rather than the victim of old choices. How’s that for a Happy New Year?
Labels: Feel Goods
I Screamed
I thought that this poem might be appropriate. My stats say that this would mark my 200th post. I beg to differ since I've posted more than one unoriginal thought. This is my poem, though, and I hope it awakens you. I have to remind myself that this is a calling I made within me for so many reasons. I hope this inspires you as much as it inspires me.
I Screamed
I screamed.
I screamed at the whole, wide world.
I screamed at a handful of people.
I screamed at myself.
I screamed at the ruthless nemesis that lies within.
My scream opened at the dark, hovering, clouds
Getting some spirits’ attention.
My scream cracked the earth’s crust
Informing some demons to take notice.
My scream reached through time
Angry at my forefathers’ slack
Demanding my offspring that of excellence
Exclaiming one to have wanted more
The other to accept no less.
My scream reached
Through dendrites
Through capillaries
Through epidermis
To atoms
My scream adjusted spirit.
My scream adjusted soul.
My scream adjusted consciousness.
My scream shook them.
My scream funneled them.
My scream made them agree
That enough is enough.
That finger-pointing is no more.
That progress and discipline are psalms of praise.
I screamed.
I screamed.
I screamed.
I screamed.
I screamed.
Until all I could do was inhale.
Labels: Feel Goods, My Writing, Poetry
A Daily OM Dose of Thought
What You Think Is What you Get
The Law Of Attraction
The law of attraction is surprisingly simple: Like attracts like. It becomes a bit more complicated when it comes to training our minds to think in ways that will bring what we desire into our lives. The term “self-fulfilling prophecy” describes the same law. This well-known term explains that we create the circumstances our mind dwells upon, whether positive or negative. So our goal is to practice consistent presence of mind to make sure our thoughts are always directed toward the positive and that which we want to create.
A key to the process is the word “frequency.” This is true for two reasons: 1) The frequency you use when you passionately dwell upon or revisit a thought, dream, desire or goal provides the energy your musings need for creation; and 2) just like a radio station broadcasts on a certain frequency, like the radio you must be “tuned in” to receive it. This means preparing for the arrival of your dream on every possible level—material, physical, and spiritual. You don’t have to know how it will come into your life, just trust that it will. Your job is to lay the groundwork, follow any leads you can find, and prepare for its arrival. This can mean cleaning out your garage to make space for a new car, taking a tour of a model home to get the feel of it in order to feed your fantasies, or thinking of what you want in a mate and then living up to that list yourself.
Just like with any skill, the law of attraction must be practiced. We must decide what makes us feel abundant, and use our imagination to create the feeling. It isn’t enough to just want something; you must use the power of your thoughts to attract it. A series of choices is what brings us everything in our lives right now, every moment. When we know the direction we want our choices to take us, it is as if we’ve placed an order with the universe. Then we can await its arrival with joyful anticipation. If we find ways to experience our dreams right now, we make creating joy a treasure hunt in which the seeking is just as much fun as the finding.
Labels: Daily OM, Feel Goods
A Daily OM Dose of Thought
Divergent Directions
Coping With People You Dislike
As much as most of us wish we could exist in harmony with the people we encounter throughout our lives, there will always be individuals we dislike. Some simply rub us the wrong way while others strike us as deliberately unaware. We may judge others as too mean or abrasive for us to interact with them comfortably. Yet no person should be deemed a villain because their beliefs, opinions, mannerisms, and mode of being are not compatible with your own. You need not embrace the rough traits they have chosen to embody. There may be times in which the best course of action involves distancing yourself from someone you dislike. But circumstances may require that you spend time in the company of individuals who awaken your aversion. In such cases, you can ease your discomfort by showing your foe loving compassion while examining your feelings carefully.
The reasons we dislike some individuals are often complex and, at first, indecipherable. Often, we are automatically averse to people who are different because they compel us to question our values, spirituality, culture, and ideologies, threatening to undermine our self-assurance. Realistically, however, those you dislike have no power to weaken your life�s foundations. In fact, your aversion to specific individuals may actually be your response to your fear that specific qualities you see in them also exist within you. Their presence may force you to face internal issues you would rather not confront. If you meet someone who inspired an intense, largely negative response in you, ask yourself why your reaction is so laden with powerful emotions. Remember that you control your feelings and, if necessary, you can minimize this individual�s impact on your well-being by choosing how you will respond to them.
Though you may not have an immediate breakthrough, your willingness to consider your dislike rationally can help you better understand the root of your feelings. Your aversion to certain individuals may not wane over time, yet the comprehension you gain through reflection can help you interact with them sympathetically, benevolently, and with a greater degree of kindness. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you are incompatible with some people. You may never achieve a shared harmony with those you dislike, but you can nonetheless learn to modulate your reactions to these individuals and, ultimately, to coexist peacefully with them.
Labels: Daily OM, Feel Goods
Daily OM Dose of Thought
Hidden Gems
Experiences We Don’t Understand
Sometimes we have an experience that we don’t understand, but if we look deeply, or wait long enough, a reason for that experience will usually reveal itself. All the events in our lives lead to other events, and all that we have manifested in this present moment is the result of past events and experiences. We cannot easily tease apart the many threads that have been woven together to create our current reality. Experiences that don’t make sense, as well as any that we regret, are just as responsible for the good things in our lives as the experiences we do understand or label as “good.”
This is especially important to remember at times when we feel directionless or unsure of what to do. It is often at times like these that we take a job or move to a place without really knowing if it’s the right thing to do. We may ultimately end up leaving the job or the place, but often during that time we will have met someone who becomes an important friend, or we may have an experience that changes us in a profound way. When all the pieces of our life don’t quite make sense, we can remember that there may be some hidden gem of a reason that we are where we are having the experiences we are having.
It’s fun to look back on past experiences with an eye to uncovering those gems—the dreadful temporary job in a bland office building that introduced you to the love of your life; the roommate you couldn’t tolerate who gave you a book that changed your life; the time spent living in a city you didn’t like that led you into a deeper relationship with yourself. Remembering these past experiences can restore our faith in the present. Life is full of buried treasures. Chances are, you’re sitting on some right now.
Labels: Daily OM, Feel Goods
